Jennifer Needs....

This was so much fun! I found this idea on a blog that I frequent...

I googled the words, "Jennifer needs" and this is what I found...

EVERY one of these are legitimate quotes from somewhere on the net....

It's a little long, well.....no, it's a LOT long but I couldn't stop...they are SO funny....


Jennifer needs...a cold shower (no kidding...this was the first link to come up!)

Jennifer needs...help (what else is new...)

Jennifer needs...passion (but you just made me take a cold shower...)

Jennifer needs...to be charged for her crime (I plead insanity...)

Jennifer needs...a smack daddy (what is a smack daddy exactly?? doesn't sound like something I want or need...)

Jennifer needs...to manage her relationship with her father so that he can become her mentor (okay mr. freud, whatever you say...)

Jennifer needs...to know your address (yeah, for me, the correspondence queen...)

Jennifer needs...to better undetand Trump's business (notice the typo...)

Jennifer needs...to stay away from Hope (that doesn't sound like it will fare well for me...unless Hope is a person, in which case...who in the world is Hope?)

Jennifer needs...to do some charity work and stop being so self-absorbed. (and how will that benefit ME?)

Jennifer needs... space (what's that?)

Jennifer needs...to stay away (from what exactly? hmmm...)

Jennifer needs...to be fired (that would be an interesting sight to behold at the bailey house)

Jennifer needs...an opportunity to connect with other kids (Yeeessss!!!)

Jennifer needs...help ( yes, I know...)

Jennifer needs...to grow up and get over it (ahh, the proverbial "IT" that requires getting oooovvver...)

Jennifer needs...the earth's energy in her life (um, yeeaahh...sure, whatever.)

Jennifer needs...to branch out and do something riskier (what could be riskier than frying green tomatoes with an infant on one hip, a 4 year old on the other, two little clowns playing hackey-sack behind me, and a big clown trying for a kiss...)

Jennifer needs...to differentiate (in Georgia that's what you say when you ate a "different one than she ate")

Jennifer needs...a better make-up artist (do I have one of those?)

Jennifer needs...help (okay, I get the picture...)

Jennifer needs...to retire (aaahhhhh....)

Jennifer needs...to get to the phone which has just fallen into a hole in the floor of the scary house. (yeah, and that carried a whole lot of relevance.)

Jennifer needs...to stop whining (but WHHHYYYYY???????)

Jennifer needs...to bring her run time down about 20 seconds per mile (now that's just funny...)

Jennifer needs...your prayers (of course)

Jennifer needs...help (okay, now that's just NOT funny anymore)

Jennifer needs...a real job, fast. (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...ROFL...that's "Rolling On the Floor Laughing" for those not properly trained in Internet Lingo)

Jennifer needs...you (well, that depends on who YOU are...)

Jennifer needs...a makeover (can it be the extreme home kind?)

Jennifer needs...to stop the crap (I think they call that constipation...)

Jennifer needs...to find a doctor (yeah, I'll need one if I do the previous suggestion)

Jennifer needs...to obtain thank-you cards (ahhh, the irony...)

Jennifer needs...to learn the art of communicating (I KNOW how to communicate!!! I talk and YOU listen!)

Jennifer needs...help (enough already...)

Jennifer needs...to deliver three more. (WHOA NELLY!!! Now you're talkin crazy!)

Jennifer needs...to let go (as long as you're not referring to chocolate...)

Jennifer needs...to return the puppet to evidence (Wait, I'M not insane...the puppet did it...)

Jennifer needs...to hide from herself (only a blond could accomplish that...)

Jennifer needs...to count the eggs in this nest (ummm, i think there are 7 in this one)

Jennifer needs...a method and a perfect alibi (what can I say, the puppet's obviously tied up...)

Jennifer needs...to eat (my chocolate!)

Jennifer needs...to take a small break (to eat my chocolate)

Jennifer needs...time (yes, yes, yes)

Jennifer needs...to put up a fence in her backyard (how did they know that...)

Jennifer needs...$24.00 (that'll buy the family dinner at Wendy's...)

Jennifer needs...to be whacked (HEY NOW! Let's keep it civil here!)

Jennifer needs...to be placed with a quieter family (that'll be the day)

Jennifer needs...those extra hugs ( :) )

Jennifer needs...a break (duh!)

Jennifer needs...to grow up (oh yeah, well whatever you say, bounces off me and....ahem..nevermind...)

Jennifer needs... closer supervision to prevent other kids from beating her ( ouch! )

Jennifer needs...to pee (we all know that 's the truth)

Jennifer needs...our feedback (YES! someone understands the blogosphere rules!!!)

Jennifer needs...to put dates on her jars ( ?????---yeah, WHAT----EVER....)

Jennifer needs...a change in scenery ( I'll take a few mountains, one beautiful stream, about 500 pine trees, and a beautiful blue sky please...)

Jennifer needs...to push a button (and what happens if I don't push it, Mr. Locke?)

Jennifer needs...a cup of chocolate chips to make cookies ( yum! )

Jennifer needs...the "shut-up" candle ( this one was my favorite!!! ROFL again!)

Jennifer needs...whatever she wants ("Suweeeeet", quoting Noelle who was quoting Jimmy....)

Jennifer needs...$400 (now we're getting there... I could buy that digital camera, Mom!)

Jennifer needs...to be prepared (I was in December of 1999...)

Jennifer needs...someone to discuss with her the concept of being trapped in a car under freezing water... (ummm, what can I say to that!?!)

Jennifer needs...help (maybe i do...)
Jennifer needs...help (i said, maybe i do)
Jennifer needs...help (please stop...)
Jennifer needs...help.... (seeing as how I am essentially having an argument with GOOGLE, maybe I do need help...)



TRY IT! IT IS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!